Story For The Ages
by Crazyshit3001
Summary: Sup bitches, we're shoving random shit down your throats with this weird-ass idea we made up while half asleep and under the effects of too much caffeine. Hope you enjoy this steaming pile of shit.


**Sup bitches, we're shoving some crazy shit we don't own down your tiny little throats.**

 **Yeah, you heard me. We don't own the literal piece of shit floating around on this screen you fucking low-life.**

Grinding to a stop, Sportacus stopped his daily run and pulled an apple out of his back pocket before looking over the place he decided to park his blimp; Lazy Town. Thankfully, Lazy Town was right in the middle of Africa, so it never got too cold for Sportacus to go outside and get some exercise in while breathing in the sweet African air.

After finishing his apple, Sportacus ran back down the usual route he ran back to Lazy Town, taking in all the sights of animals, the usual tribe of natives, and a small pond where everyone in Lazy Town got their drinking water, as it was the freshest source available.

Though as Sportacus jogged into town, horror was splayed onto his face as he saw an enormous mech destroying the town. Laughter emanated from the mech's speakers and Sportacus instantly knew it to be Robbie Rotten, his arch nemesis.

Robbie grinned as he forced the mech's arm down onto the Mayor's house, killing him faster than the blink of an eye before he flicked a small green switch that opened up the mech's chest. Once opened, small circular hatches opened up before copious amounts of missiles sprayed from the mech, further destroying the town and killing many more.

Getting a determined look on his face, Sportacus pulled yet another apple out of his pocket and took a bite of it; letting its power course through his veins as the badge on his chest glowed. Bursting off at speeds unreachable by normal men, Sportacus leapt onto Robbie's mech and started hitting it, trying to pull it apart, even trying to break the glass surrounding Robbie, but it was no use. His power was worthless here…

"Oh! Is that Sportacus I see?" Robbie asked himself in a hushed voice as he stared Sportacus right in the eyes with a maniacal smirk on his face. Grabbing one of the handles that controlled the mech's arms, Robbie used the mech to grab Sportacus and throw him to the ground. Once Sportacus' body ragdolled into the ground, also causing a small bit of concrete to break from the force he hit it, Robbie laughed once more before initiating the mech's jet-pack function.

Making the mech fly upwards a bit, Robbie continued laughing as he deactivated the jet-pack, making the 20 ton robot fall right onto Sportacus. Robbie kept on doing this as Sportacus groaned in pain each time, the only thing keeping him alive was the apple he had eaten earlier.

"So Sportacus, I heard you like to play Soccer, right?" Robbie asked the limp form of Sportacus who was laying on the ground surrounded by crushed concrete, his blood, and other people's bodies.

Sportacus made no reply except for a weak, "N-n-no…" before Robbie made his mech pick up Sportacus. Holding the athletic superhero above the ground, Robbie laughed maniacally as he dropped the man from Iceland before punting his body, breaking several important bones including his ribs and spine as he went sailing across the plains of Africa, screaming in pain every few meters.

"HAHA!" Robbie dramatically said over the speakers, gaining the very fearful interest of the few survivors of his rampage, "Your laziness has fueled this beauty here! With how lazy you have all been, I have enough power to rule the world!"

"You know, that isn't very nice," commented a male voice from literally right next to the glass dome surrounding Robbie and the mech's controls. Looking over, Robbie saw a man with wild, uncontrollable black hair, an orange jump suit with a small circle over the left breast baring a japanese character, blue boots, blue wrist bands, and a blue undershirt.

"I mean, they don't have nearly enough power to fight you," the man said once more with his index finger resting on his chin, "But from the damage you've done in such a small space, I can tell you should be a challenge."

Robbie frowned at that before glancing over to a lever next to a gauge that told him how much energy and what percent of the mech's full power he was using. It was set firmly at 3%, so Robbie grinned and looked the man dead in the eye.

"Bring it, little man," Robbie challenged as the man smiled for a split second before his face was covered with a serious look and he jumped down the mech, before he stood in front of it in a fighting stance.

"Hyah!" the man yelled as he jumped up and _flew_ at Robbie's mech! Robbie was taken back for a moment before moving the mech's arm to block the man's punch, slightly wincing as he heard the paint chip a bit before he moved the mech's leg around for a round-house kick, knocking the orange-clad man away, but surprisingly not hurting him much.

Flying back at the mech, the man reared his arm back once more and was about to punch the same area as before, with Robbie even pulling up an arm to block the blow, but the man touched his other hand to his forehead and disappeared.

Looking around, Robbie felt a bead of sweat glide down the back of his head before the glass dome he was in shook due to being hit. Grinning maniacally, Robbie spun the mech around before ramping up the percentage to 4% and ramming said mech's fist right into the flying man at much faster speeds, even eliciting a cry of pain from the man.

Growling, the man started yelling before he was encased in a golden light, temporarily blinding Robbie. Once the villain had regained his eyesight, he looked over and saw that the man's hair had turned a golden blonde and his deep black eyes turned turquoise.

"What the hell are you?!" Robbie exclaimed as he subconsciously bumped the gauge to 5% of its maximum power. The man lowered his held up arms as the golden aura surrounding him settled down to a more tame level before he yelled out.

"I am Goku, the SUPER SAIYAN!" the now named Goku yelled out as he rushed at the mech with speeds completely trumping anything the mech could have done at 4% of its power. Robbie quickly had the mech pull up its arm to try and swat Goku away, but it only stopped right in place.

Looking over, Robbie saw with astonishment that Goku had almost effortlessly taken his mech's blow and only looked at him with a cold stare. Grabbing the mech's hand, Goku grunted as he picked up the machine before throwing it a distance away.

Soaring through the air, Robbie growled to himself as he activated the mech's jet-pack to stabilize himself before he ramped the percentage to 8%. Flying at the approaching Goku, Robbie's mech's large fist met Goku's halfway. Once both collided, a shockwave burst from them that flattened any standing homes and trees within the whole of Africa.

Disengaging from the collision, Goku roared as he fired thousands of ki blasts at the mech, attempting to inflict as much damage to the powerful machine as possible. Inside the mech, Robbie yawned as he flicked a familiar green switch, launching a missile for each of Goku's blasts. As the projectiles collided and formed a smokescreen, the super saiyan burst through the smoke and palm-striked the mech, launching it a few hundred meters in the sky.

"You're already worse than Squirtacus!" Robbie yelled out, insulting the most-likely dead Sportacus as he ramped his power up to 10%, wanting to finish this as quickly as possible. Flying right at Goku, Robbie's mech slammed its entire arm right into the martial artist at speeds faster than Goku could currently see.

 _"Damnnit! How much juice does this guy even have?! I'll have to go even farther beyond!"_ Goku thought to himself as he hunched over and started yelling. Robbie's mech continued floating as Goku leaned over and started yelling. Soon enough, the ground below the two was shaking as clouds were converging around Goku.

As Goku continued to yell, Robbie noted with an almost uncaring attitude that the saiyan's hair grew down to his waist as his forehead bulged out some, getting rid of his eyebrows for reasons unknown to Robbie. Once Goku finished powering up, he set his arms to his sides as the wild aura from before lit up once more, only for lightning to sparkle around inside of it.

"Yawn, this is taking too long," Robbie muttered, fingering the lever to his right, "Let's shove it up to 18!" Once the villain said that, he pulled the lever up and allowed the mech to access 18% of its maximum power.

Laughing, Robbie drove the mech right into Goku's prone form, waiting for the super saiyan to be destroyed, but he wasn't even there. Twirling the mech around in each direction, Robbie couldn't find where the gold haired man had gone. Robbie growled and was about to shoot everything until a certain saiyan smashed right into the mech, making it soar back a few miles.

Once Robbie recovered, he looked up to see Goku floating right outside of the cockpit, and moved the mech to strike the saiyan again, only for the attack to be completely bodied. Goku never even bothered to block Robbie's mech, as it did no sort of damage to him in the least. Frowning, Robbie pushed the lever up to 27% and quickly launched the saiyan away with a powerful punch.

Boosting the mech's jet-pack, Robbie quickly caught up to the still moving form of Goku before axe-handling him into the ground, causing an earthquake to shake Africa once more. Once Goku was firmly planted into the ground, Robbie shut the pack off and waited for the mech to collide with the orange-clad man's body.

Once the mech was within a few feet of Goku, the super saiyan phased out of existence, dodging the machine's heavy form, as he reappeared a few hundred meters behind it. Exhaling, Goku let Super Saiyan 3 go before he looked at the rapidly turning mech controlled by the flamboyant man.

With a slight twitch of his hands, blue energy surrounded Goku's body and raced up, starting at his feet and ending at his shiny blue hair. Goku, now in Super Saiyan Blue, rocketed towards the giant mech that killed so many people in just a matter of nanoseconds.

Robbie looked around for the orange-clothed man and was about to give up, but he saw something enter his eyesight for a split-second; the man was back with yet another hairdo. Now knowing that each hairdo made the super saiyan stronger, Robbie bumped the power up to 40% and launched a punch right at Goku.

As the fist launched towards Goku, he swiveled out of the way and continued to rush for the mech's torso area. Upon slamming his elbow into the robot, it was sent flying for miles, even breaking the sound barrier. Watching it fly, Goku put two fingers to his head before appearing right above the mech.

Flying down, Goku slammed his feet down onto the mech's torso, right where he had elbowed it, and watched as it launched into the ground. Putting his hands together, Goku started to chant his signature attack.

"Ka-me…" Goku intoned as a small blue orb of energy matching his own godly aura formed in-between his hands. As Robbie made the mech stand up, he looked at the artificial god with a critical eye for once and ramped the power up to 60%.

"Ha-me…" Goku chanted as his eyebrows furrowed, the orb growing to be the size of a basketball at this point. Robbie looked over his controls and started flipping switches, in order to match up to Goku. Before he grabbed the controls, Robbie chuckled.

"HA!" Goku yelled as he watched the beam launch towards Robbie's mech, but reeled back in surprise as it disappeared from his sight. Panicking, Goku just barely pulled the Kamehameha wave out from its collision course with the planet and launched it into space. Sighing, Goku was about to Instant Transmission to the mech's driver, but the man's ki was so small at the moment he couldn't distinguish it from the birds flying around him.

 _How does he know how to hide his ki?_ Goku thought to himself and almost swore, but then his mouth curved up into a small smile, _I just can't wait to see that robot's full power! Not even Bulma's robots could match our str-_ Goku was cut off as Robbie's mech slammed a single finger into him, launching the artificial god over the continent and above the ocean.

Goku rubbed his cheek and was about to fly back, but the mech beat him to the punch and kicked him so hard he flew past Antarctica and the North Pole, ending up around England. Looking around and rubbing his sore arm, Goku tried to use Instant Transmission to go back to the beacon of energy that the mech had become, but was stopped when a surprisingly powerful missile slammed into him.

Crying out in pain, Goku just opened his eyes fast enough to see Robbie's mech upon him. Getting a small frown of concentration, Goku just barely dodged the next few attacks given by the mech, his god ki infused aura roaring off of him. Pulling his hands to his face, Goku closed his eyes and used a favorite technique of his friend, Tien.

"Solar Flare!" Goku yelled as a blinding light came out of his hands. Robbie scowled as he rubbed his eyes only to see that the super saiyan had disappeared. His scowl still as big as ever, Robbie flew around before seeing the heavily bruised Goku floating in the air right in front of him. Grinning, Robbie flew at the surprisingly resilient man before he got blown back by shockwaves created by said man.

"Kaioken!" Goku yelled as his blue aura got encased in the crimson red aura of Kaioken. After a second, the technique faded before Goku yelled out once more. "KAIOKEN TIMES TEN!"

The aura reappeared around Goku and flared with such an intensity Robbie could have sworn a hurricane was in the area. Flying towards the man, Robbe reared back the mech's arm and punched Goku full on. Soon Robbie's small smirk faded into a frown before a look of shock crossed his face at the sound of shattering metal.

The whole entire right arm of Robbie's mech had shattered against Goku's body. Flying back, Robbie bumped his power output to 70% before reconstructing the broken arm at the cost of making the mech smaller. Once again Robbie tried to attack Goku, but he only found that the man had disappeared from view.

He heard what should have been a small tap on his glass dome almost shatter the thing as Goku lightly tapped it. Robbie turned the mech around and was about to punch the super saiyan, but missed completely. Looking around, Robbie couldn't find the man until he heard the rush of an energy pierce his mech.

Soon enough, the mech was falling and Robbie looked down to see most of the torso and legs gone from his great machine. Growling, Robbie flipped the switch that previously repaired the right arm, but repaired the mech. Due to how much had to be repaired, Robbie was only left with an extremely small mech that he had been forced to wear like a suit due to the small amount of usable metal left in the previous form.

Initiating the new jet-pack system, Robbie leveled off with a now panting Goku. Not taking another chance, Robbie pulled the now miniature gauge up to 79% and flew right at Goku. Cocking his fist back, as the mech was too small to be controlled by handles now, Robbie shoved his hand right into Goku's torso, flinging back the blue haired super saiyan.

Boosting the jet-pack, Robbie quickly caught back up to the super saiyan and slammed both of his arms into the saiyan's head before shoving his knee into his stomach. Watching as the man who gave him far more trouble than Sportacus fly off, Robbie flew back down to his evil lair in Africa within seconds.

As Robbie landed back down in Lazy Town, he saw one of the other residents standing up before he launched a small missile out of his arm, blowing up the man. Taking in a deep breath, Robbie chuckled as he looked into the sky.

"It's good to be king!" Robbie yelled out with a maniacal laugh that sent chills down the spines of everyone who somehow lived his gigantic battle with the super saiyan. Walking forwards and scaring any citizen who looked at his battle-suit, Robbie quietly chuckled.

"I just might not make my robot any bigger…" Robbie said to himself with an evil giggle as he walked into his lair.

 **You fucking triggered yet?**


End file.
